Cissy
by Solacius
Summary: A look into Narcissa's life before becoming a Malfoy.


The young girl's eyes roved from the ceiling to the floor, to her bed, to the vanity across the room, to her own hands. Heaving a sigh, she rolled limply onto her stomach, and began focusing on a clock hanging across from her, on the handsome paneled wall, ticking off seconds in a rhythmic manner. In a maddeningly perfect manner. Nothing should be that perfect. It was abnormal, and abnormality was something to be abhorred, to be destroyed. Wasn't that what Mother taught her? Closing her eyes, she knew what to do. The images were clear in her mind. 'The clock is burning. It shouldn't exist, and it won't anymore. It doesn't deserve to exist. It's my duty to get rid of it.' She suddenly became aware of pain in her hands, and her eyes popped open to stare, pale blue and eerily bright, at the wall where the clock had once been. Smiling contently, she absorbed the dark black scorch marks. A pile of worthless ashes lay on the floor. She blinked her eyes, and they were gone. 'Won't Mother be proud,' she thought. She kissed the blood now oozing lazily from the gashes made by her fingernails, and, still smiling, drifted into an uneasy sleep.

She was running. The sky was bright, but the massive jungle she was traveling through was impossibly dark. She couldn't see. Thorns were ripping her legs, slicing her delicate skin. She tried to cry out, but found she had no voice. She tripped, and felt the thorns rip her face, the blood trickling down. She lay there in agony, until she heard a laughing, derisive voice call to her. Whimpering, she looked up, to see Bellatrix brandishing a wand. Bellatrix said nothing, but sneered at the limp form of her sister lying on the ground, weakened and mortal. Before she could act, there was a green flash of light, and she felt herself being ripped from her body. She was flying toward the bright sky, away from Earth, away from…

She came back to consciousness, panting and covered in cold sweat. She flew to the vanity, and collapsed on the stool set in front of it, gazing at her own reflection. She was scared, weak, and human. How displeased Mother would be. Her white-blonde hair was messy, and stuck to the sweat on her pale, slightly pointed face. The pupils were large in her eyes, and she took a moment to regain her composure and apply quite a large amount of make-up. How very displeased Mother would be if she caught her daughter like this, so foolishly upset and unattractive. She'd been caught like this before, and vividly remembered her mother grasping her arms and shaking her violently. "WHAT ARE YOU, SOME COMMON MUGGLE?" she had screamed, leaving large crimson marks on her daughter's arms. "FIX YOURSELF UP AND FIND SOME DIGNITY!" She had continued to berate her daughter, calling her a disgrace to the family, and lost no time in praising precious Bellatrix, the perfect Black daughter, the epitome of pride. 'I'm better than Bella at everything, she's just too blind to see it,' she thought sullenly, and regained her usual arrogant expression. Spreading rouge on her face, she strode haughtily downstairs.

She threw her silky hair back whilst taking a seat at the dark, enameled table. There were no windows in the room; it was lit only by several candles sitting in holsters on the walls. 'Burning perfectly,' she thought. 'Never flickering. Never changing. Everything has to change. They're not right, and they must be destroyed.' She closed her eyes, and felt the power leaving her body to destroy the candles. Just as the wax was beginning to drip onto the floor… "NARCISSA!" A shrill shriek met her ears, and her eyes flew open. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? GET OVER HERE AND CLEAN UP THIS MESS IMMEDIATELY!" She stared at the gaunt, sallow woman, and felt the hot breath on her cold face. "But Mother, I was only-" "ONLY MAKING A MESS FOR ME TO CLEAN? GET OVER HERE. NOW." "I WAS ONLY DOING WHAT YOU TOLD ME TO!" Narcissa's body shook as she released the scream she had wanted to let go of for so long. Her pallid complexion flushed, and she stayed in her seat as her mother advanced on her, taking in breath for the shriek that was about to come. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?" "I was only doing what you told me to do! You told me that anything abnormal and different can only be bad, and that we need to be rid of it. I was getting rid of those candles, they're just not right!" Narcissa blanched as the woman brutally smacked her face, and threw a plate of soggy biscuits in front of her. "Never do that again," her mother said, and she stalked off to wake Bellatrix.

Back in her room, Narcissa lay on her bed and watched the shadows dance on her ceiling. She wouldn't even have a window had she not used her powers to blast a hole in the wall. As the cold breeze tousled her hair, her head fell limply onto her arms. 'We're the Blacks,' she thought. 'We're so powerful and so important. Why don't we have any money? Why do we live in this place?' A bird twittered outside. So perfectly, so peacefully, so happily. She closed her eyes, and then stopped. Why did she have to do her mother's bidding, when her mother didn't even appreciate it? Nothing was binding her; nothing was forcing her to do it. She rose from her bed, and crossed over to the window. The bird was sitting happily on a branch, illuminated by the morning sun. So beautiful and blue, so innocent. Then she noticed that one of its wings didn't look quite right. 'It was broken,' she thought. 'It was broken, and the bird made do until it could be better. It's abnormal, but I won't destroy it. Oh, how peaceful it looks! Why can't I be like that?' She was suddenly aware of a sharp coldness on her face, and ran to the vanity. Wailing, she saw that tears were spilling from her eyes, causing her make-up to drip and smear. She crossed over to the window, blew a kiss at the sweetly singing bird, and threw herself out of it.

---TO BE CONTINUED---


End file.
